Showing posts with label memoir. Show all posts
Showing posts with label memoir. Show all posts

7.10.2020

Memories of the Long Road Home

My accomplishments during my military service earned me 29 commendations, including the Air Force Distinguished Flying Cross, the Air Medal, the Air Force Commendation Medal, and the Humanitarian Service Medal. When I left the military, I was one of the most highly decorated in the command. 

The base commander and my supervisors loved it when I put on my dress blues and participated in the various parades and celebrations on base, especially Memorial Day and the 4th of July. I've met royalty. A crowned prince, a princess of a city state, a queen. I've met and dined with presidents, including George W. Bush and Bill Clinton, and a few generals, including Colin Powell and H. Norman Schwarzkopf. They've offered their hands to shake, given toasts in my honor for my duty, for the distinguished flying cross pinned to my chest. Captains of industry have offered me the sky and moon for my ideas then robbed me blind, I've been praised for the hundreds of published works I've written over decades, and damned for the same. I've survived the worst of abject poverty, risen to the heights of high society, and fallen to the ugliest of depths. This is life, this is the life of a combat veteran.

With a somber 4th of July just behind us, yet another national-wide lockdown looming ahead of us, it’s a good time to look back and reflect. Much of my childhood is filled with pain, poverty and hunger, as I write about here. I served my country in foreign lands and during several tours of duty in combat zones, including two combat tours in Iraq. I flew on 32 combat missions from the opening days of the war to its end. In that time, there was never a day I didn’t stare death in the face and there was never a day death didn't stare back. AAA, SAMs and more came at us as we flew our missions. 

Because of that service, I will always know that when the darkest of hours arrives I will not hesitate. When asked, I answered. When called, I went. When death stared up from the void, I did not fear. I gave because it was my duty and because I felt it was the right thing to do.

I wrote about some of my experiences in my military memoir, Stormjammers: The Extraordinary Story of Electronic Warfare Operations in the Gulf War, which was featured in a full-page review in the Journal of Electronic Defense and on NPR. Originally released in 2006, the book was re-released in 2016 for the 25th anniversary of the war as Air War: The Incredible True Story of the Combat Flyers.

Though a memoir, the book is largely a tribute to the men and woman I served with. It's written to be light, not as dark as the terrors that surrounded us or the terrors that stared up at us from the void. I suppose I could have focused on the death and the dying, the terror and the mayhem, but I was more interested in telling the story of the day to day, the story of the lives the war affected.

I did this because the younger me, the young man who was, was filled with light and hope even though the traumas I endured rock me to my core. The older, more jaded me, probably would have written a much darker account, an account that delved into the many we lost due to mental break down, the many who went home broken even before the battles ended. The older me, probably would have named names of those who refused to go or to fly, would have recounted affairs, would have told you more about the little red pills--speed--they gave those of us who were left to keep going as our numbers dwindled and dwindled. That me, however, was not the me who wrote the book or recorded the memories in the journals that were the basis of the book.

If you read my memoir and I hope you do, I hope the book opens a window for you as big as the original experiences did for me. After combat, the world never seemed quite the same. The return to normalcy was a strange experience, never quite accomplished. I don’t, in fact, think I ever slowed down or ever quite touched the earth after those experiences. For it was afterward that everything in this world changed—that everything in this world became so clear. And afterward that I set my sights on the future and never looked back.

While you're reading this, I’d like to introduce you to the Distinguished Cross National Memorial Act and the related National Memorial at March Field Air Museum in Riverside, California. As a combat veteran and recipient of the Distinguished Flying Cross, I had never before heard of the act or the memorial until 2018 and so I thought if I hadn’t heard of it many others might not have heard of it before either. I don’t really keep up with what’s happening with such things as it’s all really painful for me in truth. But something to think about this 4th.

Here's the background on the act: The Distinguished Flying Cross National Memorial Act was introduced on January 22, 2013 by Rep. Ken Calvert (R, CA-42). It was referred to the United States House Committee on Natural Resources and the United States House Natural Resources Subcommittee on Public Lands and Environmental Regulation. It was reported by the Committee alongside House Report 113-79 on May 17, 2013. On October 25, 2013, House Majority Leader Eric Cantor announced that H.R. 330 would be on the House schedule for the week of October 28, 2013. The bill was considered under the suspension of the rules. On October 29, 2013, the House voted to passed the bill by a voice vote. The United States Senate voted on July 9, 2014 to pass the bill with unanimous consent. On July 25, 2014, President Barack Obama signed the bill into law. You can learn more about the memorial at the website for the memorial.




A story that’s not in my military memoir but perhaps should be in my next is about the dangers soldiers face not in the field of combat but in the bases where they are housed and should be safe. My wife’s second miscarriage was a clue that something was terribly wrong. I thought it was the stress of being a combat flyer’s wife, constant deployments, or the subsequent ever-changing schedule when I worked inside the secretive underground facility known as the Tunnel. I never imagined that it was due to the air we breathed, the water we drank or the soil beneath our feet, but it likely was as lead from lead-based paints had leached into the soil we used for gardening and other toxic substances were throughout our base housing and the places we worked.

No one tells you when you join the military you’re risking not just your life but your health—and that of your family and even your unborn children. As Newsweek said in its July 25, 2014 cover story, the US Military is supposed to protect the country’s citizens and soldiers and not poison them.

Throughout the United States, there are 141 military bases and related Department of Defense facilities on the Environmental Protection Agency’s superfund list and the National Priorities List for cleanup—and that list of 141 isn’t all inclusive by any means. It is simply a list of the worst of the worst, bases and facilities with toxic contamination so bad that the EPA has assigned them its highest priority for cleanup due to unacceptable risks to human health.

Many of the worst facilities are closed or closing. However, it’s not like the toxins in the soil and ground water are going to stay where they are. They’re going to continue to pollute and contaminate adjacent facilities until they are cleaned up once and for all. What’s waiting beyond the 141 highly toxic bases and facilities? Well, the Department of Defense has identified 39,000 contaminated locations so far, from areas as small as a building to as large as an airfield, and those locations are spread across many of the 4,127 DOD installations located in the United States.

As a soldier who was deployed overseas for many years, I was stationed at Department of Defense facilities all over the world and I can’t help but wonder what toxic nightmare is lurking at the thousands of Department of Defense facilities that are located outside the United States. What I suspect is that there are likely as many contaminated locations and highly toxic sites at Department of Defense facilities located outside the US as there are inside the US.

All those years ago, I didn’t know about these issues or that toxins were possibly changing my life and my family, but I guessed there was something going on beyond stress. I started asking questions, and a healthcare worker who treated my wife suggested I look at environmental factors in our home and workplaces.

In our pre-World War II base housing, lead paint often was prevalent and possibly other toxic substances. We dug up the garden which was alongside the house, stopped drinking the tap water, and made other changes. With these changes, our overall health seemed to improve. Months later, my wife got pregnant again and this time, she carried the pregnancy well and my son, Will, was born.


Will arrived a few weeks early, but healthy. For us, it was a new beginning and a hope for the future of our family.

Thanks for reading,

Robert Stanek

6.27.2012

Summer of Indie Discusses SICK With Author Jen Smith


Our next guest on the Summer of Indie blog is author Jen Smith, here today to talk about her memoir SICK. In her memoir, author Jen Smith discusses her own life story, and her experiences with "drug dealing, addiction, and surviving abuse," in the hopes that it will entertain, but also help empower those who are suffering from abuse.



To get a better idea of the specifics of her memoir, we asked Jen Smith to give us a synopsis:

Small time drug deals and a passion for growing pot filled my world before I met Greg. But the first time I got off a flight, strolled over to the baggage claim in my carefully chosen new outfit and picked up two brand new flowered suitcases filled with eighty pounds of Mexican swag pot, I felt like I had found my true calling in life. The adrenaline rush of getting away with something big along with the money I would make was a new kind of high I’d never before experienced. I was instantly addicted. Making money organizing drug runs around the country was intense. Greg and I were a money making duo like none other. Life with Greg was exciting for a while but it wasn’t long before it became a cat and mouse game – then a complete nightmare.

Words like belittling and narcissistic were not in my vocabulary. Later, learning these words helped me disconnect from the mental torture. The tension would build as I protected him while he isolated me from friends and family. Then there would be an incident of abuse which confused me. At first it was lying, hurtful words and actions but quickly escalated to guns at my head, knives, and using my son to manipulate and control me. The honeymoon phase would be another fabulous trip to Hawaii or resort hopping around the world. I didn’t see the cycle or even understand abuse. The drugs and alcohol allowed me to tolerate and numb the pain until my spirit dwindled down to a shadow of nothingness. How could I escape the far reaching sabotage of any attempt at my freedom? Could there be a way out? Could I find a way to spare my son from this drug infested violent existence that would surely crush his soul?

After hearing this overview of her own life story, we delved deeper and asked author Jen Smith about what inspired her to write this memoir and tell her story:
After years of debauchery, addiction, bad choices, and confusion I found recovery and began a life consistent with someone who would be considered a productive member of society. This was painfully weird for me at first and still is a bit awkward. In pursuit of a legal means to support my son, I went back to school and attained a few degrees. The most intense being a Masters Degree in Financial Economics. Soon it was time to get a job. The idea of working was also painfully weird for me but by that time in my recovery I had seen it done by others. One of my first interviews was with Sovereign Bank. They showed me the cube in which I would be working. It was a solitary dark space with high confining walls around it. I cried all the way home.
I did find work in a reputable investment company in a cube that was a little less dark with walls a little less high. It was, however, positioned down a back cold alleyway filled with stale air. Despite this I commence to assimilate into the corporate environment working my tale off learning as much as I could as fast as I could, accomplishing a lot. My boss was a tall well connected man. Before long his deep rooted low opinion of woman was unmistakable. A smart man, his detrimental belittling and minimizing of my abilities were subtle, never saying or doing anything that could be outwardly pined as sexist. This wore on my spirit and had residual effects on how my all men colleagues treated me. Finally this culminated into my boss deciding to demote me from a salary to hourly employee without reason. He said it came down from corporate but the other two men who were my equals were not affected and remained salary. I thought to myself, no matter how much money I make for this company, and I had made a lot, I’m never going to get anywhere under this man. So I began to write.
My story is one of addiction and survival of domestic violence and abuse. Through pain I've grown and recovered with hope to clear a path in some small way for other women to come up behind me. This is why I choose to tell my story. While the escapades and criminal activity may be interesting to some, the real story is the little bits of awakening woven in here and there, about the insidious devastation of abuse. My desperate attempts to understand how a human being can so deeply hurt the one they say they love were sometime futile but sometimes revealing. It’s just sick.
The other day a friend of mine stuck in the cycle of abuse referenced a part of my book where I made an attempt to break the cycle. She said this gave her strength to make an attempt to break the cycle in her life. That was it. That was all I had hoped for by writing this book. Just one person was enough for me. So anything else that happens with this book is icing on the cake!
Being in recovery I have had the opportunity to work on the situation with my boss and the resentments I've carried. At first my thought led to questions like, how could this be happening to me? Hadn't I been through enough? Didn't I deserve to be treated equally and be judged on my merits? Later my work turned towards things like, where could I have stuck up for my self more. I believe we attract what we have in our lives and there was something about me that attracted one more sexist man into my life. The process of writing my book has helped me get rid of that last little bit of victim I was holding on to. Deep into my writing my boss was replaced with a women who, although only my boss for a short period of time, empowered me. The fact that she demoted my prior boss and took away all of his direct reports was nice too. Today I have a fair respectful male boss. But the truth of it all is that from my despair came the strength and determination to follow my dream of telling my story and empowering women who experience abuse.
If you’ve read my book, stay tuned, I’m busy writing the rest of the story for you. You won’t believe what happens next…

After experiencing this glimpse into Jen Smith's memoir, we asked her a few follow up questions about her book. And to end this on a slightly lighter note, Summer of Indie asked a few personal questions as well.

Q: Please tell us more about your book
A: My book SICK is a memoir about dealing drugs, addiction, and surviving abuse.
Small time drug deals, following the Grateful Dead, and a passion for growing pot filled my world before I met Greg. But the first time I got off a flight, strolled over to the baggage claim in my carefully chosen new outfit and picked up two brand new flowered suitcases filled with eighty pounds of Mexican swag pot, I felt like I had found my true calling in life. The adrenaline rush of getting away with something big along with the money I would make was a new kind of high I’d never before experienced. I was instantly addicted. Making money organizing drug runs around the country was intense. Greg and I were a money making duo like none other. Life with Greg was exciting for a while but it wasn’t long before it became a cat and mouse game – then a complete nightmare.
Words like belittling and narcissistic were not in my vocabulary. Later, learning these words helped me disconnect from the mental torture. The tension would build as I protected him while he isolated me from friends and family. Then there would be an incident of abuse which confused me. At first it was lying, hurtful words and actions but quickly escalated to guns at my head, knives, and using my son to manipulate and control me. The honeymoon phase would be another fabulous trip to Hawaii or resort hopping around the world. I didn’t see the cycle or even understand abuse. The drugs and alcohol allowed me to tolerate and numb the pain until my spirit dwindled down to a shadow of nothingness. How could I escape the far reaching sabotage of any attempt at my freedom? Could there be a way out? Could I find a way to spare my son from this drug infested violent existence that would surely crush his soul?
Q: Where can people get your book?
A: SICK on Amazon
Barnes and Noble
Smashwords

Q: In your book, who is your favorite character?
A: Being a memoir I am the main character of the book SICK. My plight and experiences are real; there will be no question of this despite some of the outrageous and unbelievable situations I get myself into. I have two goals for my book SICK. First, I wish to entertain you. Second, I hope to give people a peek into the insidious sick dynamics of the mind of the psychopath. The physiological damage that is inflicted as well as a new look at the age old question asked of the abused person, “Why do they stay?”

The other day a friend of mine stuck in the cycle of abuse referenced a part of my book where I made an attempt to break the cycle. She said this gave her strength to make an attempt to break the cycle of abuse in her life. That was it. That was all I had hoped for by writing this book. Just one person being helped was enough for me. So anything else that happens with this book is icing on the cake!

Q: What's your favorite indie book that you've read recently?
A: Biker by Dan Mader

Q: What's your favorite book of all time?
A: I love so many, usually the one I’m reading. Right now it’s ‘A Piece of Cake’ by Cupcake Brown


Q: Who are some of your favorite authors?
A: I love to read books about human nature that help me understand how the world and people work, like Eckhart Tolle and Malcolm Gladwell. I read a lot of self help books and books about being happy like Joe Vitale’s ‘An Awakening Course’, and Andrew Weil’s new book ‘Spontaneous Happiness’.

Q: Do you have any advice for new writers?
A: Don’t quit your day job.

Q: What's next for you?
A: My book SICK is a bit of a cliffhanger. I have more to tell that includes a whole new line up of characters including shady lawyers, cops, an old hippie private investigator, tweekers, and a Hells Angles killer that slept in my bedroom with a loaded assault rifle.
Q: Anything else you'd like to tell us that we probably couldn’t guess about you?
A: I’m an economics geek. Loved Alan Greenspan’s book Age of Turbulence. 
You can find author Jen Smith online at
Facebook:
On Twitter:
Or on her website:


6.23.2012

Summer of Indie Hangs Out With Lisa Vaughn

The next author in our Summer of Indie lineup is author and free-lance artist Lisa Vaughn. We had the pleasure of interviewing Lisa Vaughn, and found out a lot about her and the piece she wished to share with Summer of Indie readers: her memoir The Gifted Ones, which she described as, "A true story of resilience that sends a strong message of acceptance and the power of love - told in a raw, honest, format, much like talking to an old friend."


After hearing this intruiging premise, we asked author Lisa Vaughn for a more detailed synopsis of what readers could expect from her memoir:

Have you ever been so in love that your daily breath depended upon another?
Have you ever been pushed to unfathomable limits to defend your beliefs?
Have you ever been made to feel like the underbelly of society?
Have you ever been thirteen?
Well I have...and this is my story.
Lisa was conservatively raised in a Catholic family in no-where middle America, where excitement is scarce and dreams are for sleeping. Little did she know, at age thirteen, she would suddenly find herself on a totally different path.

Through an unlikely chance meeting of a fellow classmate, she's surprisingly mesmerized, almost consumed, to befriend a girl who is obviously from the other side of the tracks...the cool side. Lisa does whatever she has to just to be accepted into this small club of coolness. Little did she realize, she was signing up for a lot more than social status. The two best friends find themselves innocently taking their relationship to a foreign level neither had experienced or saw coming.

A rollercoaster ride littered with choices and challenges Lisa never fathomed facing, especially in no-where middle America. She will find out what she is made of as she faces the consequences and struggles that come along with going against the grain.

Throughout their six year relationship, you will witness a touching story of human nature at it's best...and at it's worst. Showing just how far the human spirit can be challenged and pushed to a point where your “fight or flight” instincts naturally kick in. Struggling just to survive in a world where you are not like everyone else, but at the same time you really are. The daily struggles- both internal and external- are exhausting, yet necessary in their quest for one simple human need....love.

Finally breaking through all constraints that hold them back, reaching levels of one-ness that few actually obtain in a lifetime with their partner...only to find once they've reached that special place, it's not quite the right fit...for one of them, at least.

This contemporary story will lead the reader through highs and lows, giving insight to the every day challenges of the socially unaccepted, which will no doubt leave them rooting for the underdog. A true story of human resilience and the power of love...plain and simple.


Available in print, kindle & all ebook versions
Paperback: 282 pages
Publisher: CreateSpace (April 19, 2011)
Language: English
ISBN-10: 1456506234
ISBN-13: 978-1456506230


Amazon: Kindle & Print
http://www.amazon.com/Gifted-Ones-Lisa-Vaughn/dp/1456506234/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1317765323&sr=8-1

Smashwords: All ebook versions
https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/71414


After finding out more about her book, we asked Lisa Vaughn a few follow up questions about herself and her work:

Q: Can you tell us more about your book?
A: 'The Gifted Ones' is really a love story at it's core...with a taboo twist. Set back in the seventies when the world was even more closed-minded than it is today, it's an honest story of what it truly means to love someone, and how sometimes you can find that love in the most unexpected places. But it's also a story of what it's like not being accepted by the masses. When not everyone is as accepting as you are of your newfound love, and the struggles that come with going against the grain of the majority, forcing you to find out just how far you'll go, when pushed, to defend your beliefs.

Q: You mentioned that you are a free-lance artist, could you tell us more about what motivated you to start writing?

A: My memoir actually started out as a healing tool, helping me deal with my mother's death in 2005. I was surprised to find I had a lot of unfinished business with her, plus a few other people in my life. So what started out as a way to vent pent up anger that I had held inside for thirty plus years, eventually turned into an eye-opening journey for not only me, but for everyone to absorb and learn from.

Q: In your book, who is your favorite character? 

A: Well since my book is non-fiction, I'd have to say my fave "character" has to be the person that influenced the six year journey of which I write about in the first place, and that would be my first love, Selina.    

Q: Who are some of your favorite authors?

A: I'm an 'indie' girl at heart, always have been, always will be! In movies and books alike. So of course my fave authors are the unknowns, but soon-to-be-up-and-comers! I've read so many fantastic reads in the never-ending world of indies, just too many to count or list! (for fear of leaving someone out, mainly)

Q: Do you have any advice for new writers?

A: Write what you know, and write from your soul. Be real, honest, and raw - even if it's ugly or painful. The readers will sense your honesty and fall into your words with you.



Q: What's next for you (in your writing)?

A: I'm actually working on a second memoir, entitled 'Beautiful Freak', hopefully to be pubbed later this year - aiming for summertime.

Q: Can you tell us three interesting facts you'd like your readers to know?
A:
1. I'm actually an artist, and I view my memoir, The Gifted Ones, as just another art project in a different medium.
2. I'm a self-proclaimed 'hippie-chick' that digs color, the beach, and expressing myself through my art. I love projects that make people think, opening their minds as a result.
3. I dig cats, am a Leo, and hope to come back as a big, fat, lazy feline next time.

Lisa currently resides in Florida along with her loving husband and four cats, where she continues to create her visions of self-expression.

You can find Lisa Vaughn online at her blog: http://www.thegiftedonesmemoir.blogspot.com

Her Facebook Author Page:http://www.Facebook.com/thegiftedones


Or her Twitter: http://twitter.com/#!/thegiftedones